Ode to the Desk Chairs That Smell Like Rear End

Ode to the desk chairs that smell like rear end,
At the hotel where travelers sit,
I guess there are many, and it is quite smelly,
The fabric retains all of it,

For how can you focus on printing your pass,
When a toilet is more like the chair,
And how can you breathe and pretend nothing’s wrong,
When you feel someone’s pranking the air,

You’d think that a spray or a perfume would help,
In a place that you go to feel nice,
When you use the computer there should be a sign,
There’s free wifi but you’ll pay a price,

Or a sign that might say,
Please go launder your pants,
Before using the printer for free,

Do not sit on the chair,
Or go browsing the web,
If your rear smells like fish in the sea,

Or please use the shower,
Before you come down,
The hotel’s reached its limit today,

For the odorous smells coming out of the chairs,
From the buttocks of people who pay,

Or perhaps they might hire a specialized crew,
Who are experts in smells of the rear,
Who can launder the fabric of all the hotel,
And make smells of rear end disappear.

-Pamela Storch